Martial arts in-depth

[Unknownfromheaven]

Hello guys.

I hope that all of you are safe and well.

I observed this forum without using my credentials for some time, and I thought to start sharing things again.
In this topic, I will relate something that happened yesterday.

So, there's a reason why I named this topic "Martial arts in-depth". I was playing soccer with my son, and there were a lot of children in that area. Normally, this place is quite peaceful. It has a great view, there are a lot of trees and between them, a very modest old Church where people still go to pray.
We stood for two hours, and all of sudden a child came crying to me asking for help as the children in that area were terrorized by an individual. He was beating them. He also came at them with a knife telling them that he will kill them. That's what they told me. At that moment, I was the only adult, and I had to interfere. I felt that I had no choice, thinking that this was a big issue, and was concerning the safety of those children. I left my son with these kids and went to initially talk with this person. To calm things down and to understand what's his issue with them. I tried to explain that they are just having fun, and I asked him what's his problem with them. It was a sunny weekend, and this guy didn't even try to listen to me. He attacked me, and he hit me with a metallic bar in my face, he kept it hidden when he came out again, the strike affected my left eyelid, nose, and mouth. I was bleeding like hell, I didn't expect such an attack, but despite my condition after that initial blow, I was still on my feet, I still fought him to his surprise, I managed to deliver a kick in his diaphragm. 70% of the time, I'm using my kicks when or if I'm in a fight. He tried to hit me again several times, but he always missed his target. Because of the blood and the shock of the initial blow, eventually, I lost my balance as I was dizzy and I fell down. He rushed in to kick me but I used my legs and blocked him completely from moving. When I released him he didn't hit me. He realized that I was not just an average guy on the street, and he ran away with his bike.

I stood up after that and I was still bleeding. I was very calm, and I tried to understand what happened, I was in a little bit of shock, remembering his surprised face that I stood against him, he was taller than me, but it didn't matter. It made me think that no one did that until now. People said that he is a dangerous individual and that his mind isn't too healthy, but I don't think so. He knew what he was doing.

While I was holding that position I told him:"You're a coward" He smiled and replied with:"You will be loved"
The children came to me and all were crying, apologizing to me. I told them that they don't have to feel sorry for anything and I encouraged them to always ask for help when needed, to stick together, and to learn the martial ways.

Sometimes we discover and learn with blood. I took it as a test to find out if something changed in me and I found out that I evolved a lot. It was also a lesson for this guy, to finally understand, that some people will fight him. That not all are afraid and will fight even if death is a possible outcome.

Of course, I went to the hospital to check my wounds and now I'm taking care of them. My left eye is fine. My family called the cops to investigate, and now I will proceed forward, and I'm very determined to stop this individual. Someone told me that this is not new... that he is coming there usually to hit children. But, so far, no complaints were filed against him because people are afraid of this guy.
I simply hate that and the fact that other people were just enjoying the show from their balconies, without doing anything, not even calling the cops. I asked these children to talk with their parents and switch the place eventually if this guy would come back.

For many years I trained my mind and body to avoid conflicts. To seek peace always, and neutralize threats but yesterday for me, at least, was proof that sometimes we have to fight, especially when the lives of others are important. I was proud of myself because I didn't allow rage to overtake me this time, and I kept my temper. I went with the flow of the fight, not letting emotions stand in my way... because in the past I wasn't able to fully control that because it triggered old childhood traumas, and those usually made me explode from the pain and hatred that I had in my heart for such situations. Because of the memories, and I saw what happened to other children, e.g. A long time ago I saw a 30-33-year-old male stomping on a five-year-old child. This is one of those things that I cannot unsee, or forget, nor can't I forgive.

I was filled with hate and the desire for revenge. I know hate can make one strong, but it's a lousy weapon. How can we control that, there's no way I can get rid of this, no matter how much I try to bury this feeling... It's a battle with ourselves, right? I had to accept that emotions are what makes us humans, love, hate, are a part of what we are and I think that at the end of the day is about finding the balance and reason between these feelings, not allowing them to control our lives. Too much love and we become blind, ignoring how others make us feel... too much hate and we miss the light, consuming our hearts with our own poison, that's why some people can never heal. No matter how much I meditate, I can feel it, within, in a corner.

But it's justified. I like to think that I'm human. To love and to care for the well-being of others. So this feeling of hate should be allowed to come to the surface, especially when one's actions are against nature, humanity, but in a controlled way, not in anger.

I didn't have a fight since 2009, and this time I was very tired. I can't sleep anymore. I don't eat (I eat once or twice per week), I lost a lot of weight. From 117kg I had in the past, I got to 92 and am dropping. So I was in a weakened state... but the adrenaline of the situation made me strong, and the motives behind this conflict. The hate was there but under my control this time.

I do not wish to harm humans, but sometimes it seems that they give me no choice. It's a sort of guilt that I have in me after I'm hitting someone, even if the reasons are dead serious... but I never wanted this. I don't want such a world.

[Jebus]

Of course it was justified. I don't think anyone would disagree with that.

Why don't you eat and sleep anymore?

[Unknownfromheaven]

Of course it was justified. I don't think anyone would disagree with that.

Why don't you eat and sleep anymore?

Hello, Jebus

I'm glad that someone understands me.

My sleeping problem is quite old, it just got worse... mainly because of my thoughts, no matter what or how I try. Pills are useless. As to food, my appetite to eat decreased since I've started smoking. I never was a smoker and for a long time I didn't understand people who smoke, but now I do.
Aside from my meditation, it's the other thing that calms me down.

[Jebus]

My sleeping problem is quite old, it just got worse... mainly because of my thoughts, no matter what or how I try. Pills are useless. As to food, my appetite to eat decreased since I've started smoking. I never was a smoker and for a long time I didn't understand people who smoke, but now I do.
Aside from my meditation, it's the other thing that calms me down.

Is marijuana legal where you live? Replacing tobacco with marijuana should help with both sleep and appetite and will likely cause less harm to your body.

[Unknownfromheaven]

Is marijuana legal where you live? Replacing tobacco with marijuana should help with both sleep and appetite and will likely cause less harm to your body.

It's not legal