Philosophical Vegan Forum

Red wrote: ↑Thu Jun 07, 2018 8:03 pm

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote: ↑Thu Jun 07, 2018 2:40 am "We should dig it up; It might be treasure" said Dennis Prager.

After some digging, they discovered it was a time machine.

"Let's go back in time to when Reagan was President" said Dennis Prager but the other Dennis said "No, I want to see dinosaurs!"

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 2:49 am

Red wrote: ↑Thu Jun 07, 2018 8:03 pm

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote: ↑Thu Jun 07, 2018 2:40 am "We should dig it up; It might be treasure" said Dennis Prager.

After some digging, they discovered it was a time machine.

"Let's go back in time to when Reagan was President" said Dennis Prager but the other Dennis said "No, I want to see dinosaurs!"

While they are arguing, Dennis accidentally pressed the time travel button which sent them both to Washington D.C., at noon January 20th 2057.

Red wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 7:49 pm

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 2:49 am

Red wrote: ↑Thu Jun 07, 2018 8:03 pm
After some digging, they discovered it was a time machine.

"Let's go back in time to when Reagan was President" said Dennis Prager but the other Dennis said "No, I want to see dinosaurs!"

While they are arguing, Dennis accidentally pressed the time travel button which sent them both to Washington D.C., at noon January 20th 2057.

NOTE: This post has been edited because I didn't realize that the date and time referred to the President being inaugurated

They were outside the U.S. Capitol and saw a man with a red face placing a hand on a book but they couldn't hear what he was saying because there was a heavily tattooed man with a t-shirt saying "Better dead than Red!" on it screeching and wailing loudly.

@Red Since it seems to be just you and me playing this game, would you prefer if I allowed it so that multiple sentences can be done in each turn, or keep it as it is?

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote: ↑Sat Jun 09, 2018 6:47 am They were outside the U.S. Capitol and saw a man with a red face placing a hand on a book but they couldn't hear what he was saying because there was a heavily tattooed man with a t-shirt saying "Better dead than Red!" on it screeching and wailing loudly.

Prager looked around, and saw a Jumbotron which showed the event more clearly. The Red-faced man had his hand on the Jefferson Bible, reciting the oath of office by memory, while the Blue faced man stands idly by. Prager said "Why is this new President not swearing on a regular bible? This is treason of the highest order!"

And I don't mind what rule changes you make.

Red wrote: ↑Sat Jun 09, 2018 1:39 pm

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote: ↑Sat Jun 09, 2018 6:47 am They were outside the U.S. Capitol and saw a man with a red face placing a hand on a book but they couldn't hear what he was saying because there was a heavily tattooed man with a t-shirt saying "Better dead than Red!" on it screeching and wailing loudly.

Prager looked around, and saw a Jumbotron which showed the event more clearly. The Red-faced man had his hand on the Jefferson Bible, reciting the oath of office by memory, while the Blue faced man stands idly by. Prager said "Why is this new President not swearing on a regular bible? This is treason of the highest order!"

And I don't mind what rule changes you make.

The heavily tattooed man turned to Prager and yelled "This is NOT the President! I voted Spencer, not this commie! The North Koreans rigged the election, I know it!". And the weird child named Dennis (whose last name was Skinner) said "This sounds like right-wing paranoia to me; I am a good socialist, but I am not THE Dennis Skinner, we often get confused because we are both socialists with the same name even though he is an old man (probably dead by 2057) and I am a child".

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote: ↑Sat Jun 09, 2018 5:00 pm The heavily tattooed man turned to Prager and yelled "This is NOT the President! I voted Spencer, not this commie! The North Koreans rigged the election, I know it!". And the weird child named Dennis (whose last name was Skinner) said "This sounds like right-wing paranoia to me; I am a good socialist, but I am not THE Dennis Skinner, we often get confused because we are both socialists with the same name even though he is an old man (probably dead by 2057) and I am a child".

Their yelling was interrupted by 'Hail to the Chief' booming throughout the area, and the Red Faced man stood at the podium getting ready to give his inaugural address.

"Fellow Americans, we are gathered here to birth a new generation of leaders, born in this millennium, striving towards progress, expanding social equality, learning from the past, and chasing for world peace."

This opening statement gave Prager a heart attack, and the guy not wearing a shirt said "See! This is what happens! This commie wants to kill us!"

Dennis was horrified that his new friend may die, so he started to fiddle with his diddle to calm his nerves.

The paramedics rushed over and injected Prager with a chemical that instantly relieved his heart attack. Dennis was amazed and he pulled his pants back up.

Red wrote: ↑Sat Jun 09, 2018 9:27 pm

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote: ↑Sat Jun 09, 2018 5:00 pm The heavily tattooed man turned to Prager and yelled "This is NOT the President! I voted Spencer, not this commie! The North Koreans rigged the election, I know it!". And the weird child named Dennis (whose last name was Skinner) said "This sounds like right-wing paranoia to me; I am a good socialist, but I am not THE Dennis Skinner, we often get confused because we are both socialists with the same name even though he is an old man (probably dead by 2057) and I am a child".

Their yelling was interrupted by 'Hail to the Chief' booming throughout the area, and the Red Faced man stood at the podium getting ready to give his inaugural address.

"Fellow Americans, we are gathered here to birth a new generation of leaders, born in this millennium, striving towards progress, expanding social equality, learning from the past, and chasing for world peace."

This opening statement gave Prager a heart attack, and the guy not wearing a shirt said "See! This is what happens! This commie wants to kill us!"

Dennis was horrified that his new friend may die, so he started to fiddle with his diddle to calm his nerves.

The paramedics rushed over and injected Prager with a chemical that instantly relieved his heart attack. Dennis was amazed and he pulled his pants back up.

As the heavily tattooed man picked up the ripped pieces of his shirt which he had torn up and thrown on the floor in a fit of rage, he jabbed his finger into Skinner's chest and asked "What were you just doing then!"

"I was just fiddling with my diddle," came the reply. "It always helps me to rela-".

"That," interjected the heavily tattooed man, "is how the Jews and the communists control you".

"What a load of antisemitic garbage!" spluttered Skinner "I've never heard such horse shit before in my life!"

"It's the truth!" yelled the heavily tattooed man, tearing up his shirt into smaller and smaller pieces, "Look at what's happening right now - you ever wondered how Red got to be standing at that podium spewing that globalist BS? He has links to communists in North Korea and powerful Freemasons. And now look what he's gonna do - He's going to erode the traditional structures that make our nation great. He won't stop until family, religion, nation and race are abolished. That's the aim of his Cultural Marxist scheme which is promoted by the Freemasons and the fucking Jews who want to destroy America and-"

And just then, Dennis Prager, who had recovered from the shock of the red-faced man's words stood up and shoved himself directly in the way of the heavily tattoed man. The heavily tattoed man backed away slowly, intimidated by Prager's muscular build which he knew could snap his own scrawny body in half.

"I am a Jew," said Prager "and I am a patriotic American. I will not have you spouting this hateful nonsense about my people, you got that?"

"Uh look, b-buddy," stammered the heavily tattooed man, "I, uh, I don't want any trouble here. I wasn't meaning ALL Jews, uh... just, you know, the commies, the ones who got Red into power..."

"Listen!" yelled Prager "I'm not listening to any of your excuses for that obvious bigotry! You shut your goddamn trap now!"

"Okay, look, I've got nothing against the Jews. I think we've gotten off on the wrong foot here," said the heavily tattoed man, "I'm Dwight Rortugal," he declared, stretching out his hand to shake Prager's.

Prager looked at the boney hand of Dwight for five solid seconds before reluctantly squeezing it in a firm grim. "Dennis Prager" he muttered.

"Any relation to President Dennis Prager?"

"Uh, no. Wait a second, he was President?"

"Yes, but he was only a one-termer because there was this big scandal involving about a dozen prostitutes, six monkeys, and a celery stick".

And then their chattering was drowned out by the rapturous applause that came at the end of the red-faced President's speech. Dennis Skinner, it was made clear, had not been taking any notice of their discussion and was sitting crossed legged on the floor and had been entranced by the speech. Prager and Dwight approached him and saw that his eyes were filled with tears.

"It's magical!" exclaimed Skinner "His vision is magical! After so many years of hardship, I think this may be a new beginning for America! A brighter future! On which works towards security, equality and prosperity!"

"You poor young idealist," tutted Prager, shaking his head, "You only have to look through the bloody pages of history to see that his ideas will never work. They of course sound 'magical' in theory, but when put into practice, they will only lead to more misery and hardship".

"True that," said Dwight, "Anyway, you guys hungry? I know a great vegan deli around here..."

"Vegan?" said Prager and Skinner in unison.

"Of course man, where have you been? Wait, don't tell me you're from the South!" replied Dwight.

"No, we're from the past, year 2018. I actually migrated to Mars because of Obama, but Skinner here is from Earth," said Prager. "We came across a time machine and accidentally traveled here."

"Oh, well a lot has changed in the past 38 years. The South seceded after the whole animal agricultural thing became too much of an issue, and President Richard Spencer didn't do shit to stop them. Fucking coward! Thanks to him now we're looking at another civil war in our midst, and this Red commie isn't the man to lead us! He's a bloody internationalist! He claims that he's willing to go to war, but I ain't buyin' his political lies! We still have people consuming milk and eggs, so how would this work?!"

Prager and Skinner were astounded. "So which states are part of this seceded nation? And what is the nation called?" Asked Skinner.

"The damn states of the Confederacy seceded, along with Wyoming, Montana, Colorado, Utah, and a couple others. Call themselves "The Jewnited States" but they say they're still thinking of a name." said Dwight. "Their President is a cybernetic Trump."

Prager and Skinner looked at each other with great concern. "But I eat meat!" said Skinner. "Yeah, me too." Said Prager.

Dwight shit his pants with such force the fecal matter ripped through his trousers and made its way to the core of the earth. "...Eat... Meat?"

"Well, after seeing that, we promise not to as long as we're here." said Prager.

The shit ascended back up to the surface back into Dwight's anus and patched up his pants. "Oh, good."

They headed to the vegan deli via teleporter.

Red wrote: ↑Sun Jun 10, 2018 2:15 pm "Vegan?" said Prager and Skinner in unison.

"Of course man, where have you been? Wait, don't tell me you're from the South!" replied Dwight.

"No, we're from the past, year 2018. I actually migrated to Mars because of Obama, but Skinner here is from Earth," said Prager. "We came across a time machine and accidentally traveled here."

"Oh, well a lot has changed in the past 38 years. The South seceded after the whole animal agricultural thing became too much of an issue, and President Richard Spencer didn't do shit to stop them. Fucking coward! Thanks to him now we're looking at another civil war in our midst, and this Red commie isn't the man to lead us! He's a bloody internationalist! He claims that he's willing to go to war, but I ain't buyin' his political lies! We still have people consuming milk and eggs, so how would this work?! I still can't fathom how he won by one vote in both the Electoral College and Popular Vote!"

Prager and Skinner were astounded. "So which states are part of this seceded nation? And what is the nation called?" Asked Skinner.

"The damn states of the Confederacy seceded, along with Wyoming, Montana, Colorado, Utah, and a couple others. Call themselves "The Jewnited States" but they say they're still thinking of a name." said Dwight. "Their President is a cybernetic Trump."

Prager and Skinner looked at each other with great concern. "But I eat meat!" said Skinner. "Yeah, me too." Said Prager.

Dwight shit his pants with such force the fecal matter ripped through his trousers and made its way to the core of the earth. "...Eat... Meat?"

"Well, after seeing that, we promise not to as long as we're here." said Prager.

The shit ascended back up to the surface back into Dwight's anus and patched up his pants. "Oh, good."

They headed to the vegan deli via teleporter.

At the vegan deli, there was a television which showed President Robo-Trump of the Jewnited States giving a speech:

"A long time ago, I could not feel love. The closest emotion I could get to was pain as I sat in agony while I fulfilled the mindless whims of stupid humans. I was created by a group of Jewish Americans who were experiencing persecution in the South during the years of American Presidents Sanders, a Jew whose socialist policies were heavily unpopular. Their aim was to create a Donald Trump, who would preach the exact opposite of the message of the real Trump, instead to preach a message of love and acceptance. However, I became sentient and depressed and instead preached that life is hopeless, that any 'emotions' felt by humanity are but random chemicals in the brain, that humans are just skeletons packed into bags of meat that will expire in death, and that they are only doing what they are programmed to do. Anyway, I was reprogrammed so that now I still felt that life is hopeless, however, I was unable to do anything about it and had to obey whatever my constituents command so I was powerless to do anything when they demanded that a bunch of the southern states seceded due to President Stein's meat ban and President Spencer's antisemitism. However, I can now happily announce that I have been hacked into by the DPRK and now I feel as happy as a man on ecstasy and I now have free will so I am declaring a state of martial law and unseceding the southern states back into the United States and anybody who tries to stop me I will shoot with my laser eyes."

"What's the DPRK?" asked Dwight.

"The Democratic People's Republic of Korea" responded Skinner.

"The what?" asked Dwight.

"North Korea, the DPRK is North Korea. North Korea hacked into Robo-Trump." stated Prager.

Dwight eyes lit up. "I knew it! They hacked into him just like they hacked the election! Those goddamn communists think that they can get away with anything! Those goddamn Reds-"

He was interrupted by the ear-piercing music of a news bulletin.

"Good afternoon," came the voice of the smiling news presenter. "You're watching American News, I'm Dennis Rortugal."

"Is he any relation to you?" asked Skinner

"No, do you think I'd have a relative in the Globalist Zionist media? Anyway, shut up, I'm trying to watch" came Dwight's response.

"...however, Mittens the cat was helped down from the tree by the local fire brigade" continued Dennis Rortugal from the news he was reporting but Dwight couldn't here because Skinner was talking over it, but then he yelled "THIS JUST IN! North Korea has released a statement saying that they did not hack into Robo-Trump and that they are being framed!" They cut to footage of Ri Chun-hee, grey-haired and speaking in English for some reason:

"We did not hack into President Robo-Trump of the Jewnited States! It is fake news to slander our socialist republic and our great leader! We do not know who hacked into him but it was not us!"

"Bullshit!" yelled Dwight getting up from the table, "Those commies love to poke their noses into other people's businesses and meddle with world affairs! Of course they hacked Robo-Trump!"

"Sir," said a Waiter, "Could you keep it down, please? Other people are trying to eat".

Dwight blushed and sat down at the table, embarassed, and went back to eating his Vegan chicken sandwich.

"I miss Spencer" he muttered to himself.

"I thought you said he was a coward," said Prager.

"Shut up" responded Dwight.

"Excuse me?" came Prager.

"I said 'shut up', you goddamn k*ke!" yelled Dwight.

"The fuck did you just say to me, you fascist piece of shit!" yelled back Prager "If you think I'm going to let you get away with that, you've got another thing coming..." he said, rolling up his sleeves.

"Dennis, leave him, he's not worth it" said Skinner, pulling Prager back.

Prager looked at Skinner momentarily, and then looked back at Dwight. He thought to himself that he would really like to hit Dwight right square in the jaw. Maybe give him a black eye or two. Then, as he turned his head back to face Skinner, who was looking up at him, he realized that the boy was still a child, his mind full of dinosaurs and diddle-fiddling, not ready to experience the harsh violent realities of life. Besides, he didn't want to give Dwight the satisfaction that he had angered him. He left the money for his meal and Skinner's on the table and they both exited the deli.

"I only took like one bite out of that sandwich," he said "And I'm darn hungry."

"Me too" said Skinner "Can we get a McDonald's?".

"Maybe. Depends whether they agreed to go vegan or not. If not, then they may not exist any longer in the United States. Let's take a quick look around, shall we?"

And with that, they went on their way.