A few questions

[brimstoneSalad]

Simply put, I don't feel desperate enough to have to date someone who actively chooses to harm animals. People act less surprised when I say I wouldn't date a hunter, but basically it's the same thing.

Well said. It's also just a bad idea, unless they convert quickly (though dating as a conversion tool is a pretty good one- we could double our numbers in a week!).

Unless you're just looking for a short term sex-based relationship, and nothing long term or emotional. In which case it probably doesn't matter what they are or what they believe about anything.
But the OP was talking about Children, so I assume that's not the premise.

[miniboes]

though dating as a conversion tool is a pretty good one- we could double our numbers in a week!

I know veganism is very good for losing weight and stuff, but not all of us are that attractive

[Btf123]

The woman I would like to date truly does respect animals as much as a meat-eater can. (Avoiding factory farmed meat, trying to find organic meat, against hunting) and she only eats meat because of medical reasons. I think that's good enough for me, seeing as how i'm a vegetarian, not a vegan.

[brimstoneSalad]

I know veganism is very good for losing weight and stuff, but not all of us are that attractive

Nonsense, true beauty is on the inside. All vegans are hotties.

The woman I would like to date truly does respect animals as much as a meat-eater can. (Avoiding factory farmed meat, trying to find organic meat, against hunting) and she only eats meat because of medical reasons. I think that's good enough for me, seeing as how i'm a vegetarian, not a vegan.

There aren't any medical reasons to eat meat (although most people don't know that).

General Practitioners (the typical doctor people will see) are not educated in nutrition. What they know about meat is what their mothers told them.
These doctors know how to mend bones, treat infections, and give birth to babies, but they know virtually nothing about nutrition. Unfortunately, they're ever so glad to pretend they know everything and give nutritional advice despite their near-complete ignorance on the subject.

If she has a medical problem, she needs to visit a certified, registered dietitian. She should find one with experience in vegetarian diets. A professional can help her plan a vegetarian or vegan diet that more than meets her particular needs.

If you want to post here about what her issue is specifically, I can provide a little information on it if she doesn't want to visit a dietitian.

[Volenta]

Why should I? I wouldn't date someone who held negatively opposing views to any of my other major interests or hobbies. I wouldn't date someone where one of their views would make it really hard for us to get along, or live together. In the same way I'd never date someone who didn't support the right to abortions, or someone who thought that video games are stupid and a waste of time, or someone who didn't respect, understand, or enjoy philosophy to some degree. I wouldn't date someone who decided that pizza was so unhealthy that we should never eat it, or that "there are no atheists in foxholes", or someone who hasn't read a book since high school. These are just preferences, and preferences aren't bizarre or rare - everybody has some kind of preference.

Simply put, I don't feel desperate enough to have to date someone who actively chooses to harm animals. People act less surprised when I say I wouldn't date a hunter, but basically it's the same thing.

Thanks for your explanation. It's true that if you're going to share a life together with someone, it's so much easier to don't have fundamental disagreements about his/her food choices.

But I also kind of have the feeling that you're closing the door for so many people you could otherwise perfectly date with. And it can be pretty hard to find vegans to date with...

Nonsense, true beauty is on the inside. All vegans are hotties.

[brimstoneSalad]

But I also kind of have the feeling that you're closing the door for so many people you could otherwise perfectly date with. And it can be pretty hard to find vegans to date with...

One could be marginally satisfied dating some 10% of people. It's not like that's remarkable or problematic -- it's both useful and necessary to narrow things down.

It may be hard to find people who are already vegan, but if you're not afraid of pushing the issue (do it early on) and risk an argument that will result in breaking off the relationship, it's actually pretty easy to convert people.

Date ten people, and really push the issue (though carefully) on the first date -- see my description. If two or three of them don't decide to go vegan (it might not stick, but at that moment they'd be sincere), you're doing something wrong.

Even just receiving a leaflet, something like 1% of people are seriously affected and decide to make changes in their lives. Sitting down with somebody in a date context, where they're interested in a relationship is much more effective. And obviously you'll be filtering slightly even before that, because you can kind of get a sense of people.

[Soycrates]

Thanks for your explanation. It's true that if you're going to share a life together with someone, it's so much easier to don't have fundamental disagreements about his/her food choices.

But I also kind of have the feeling that you're closing the door for so many people you could otherwise perfectly date with. And it can be pretty hard to find vegans to date with...

I guess I'm this selective because I'm not on the dating market. I'm currently dating a vegan, and I've dated one other vegan in the past (I dated two omnivores beforehand). Also, it's not just about food choices. I don't want to live in a house with someone who would be cool buying leather sofas, buying animal tested products, gets wool/leather/etc. clothes or accessories for me or themselves - I don't want to live surrounded by animal cruelty. I'm sure I could just say "we can't have those things in our house!" but I don't want any relationship where I have to be the nagging dictator, or they don't understand why I set those limitations. I've met plenty of guys who will say they won't eat meat around me, or won't keep animal products around me. They're not doing it because they actually understand what's wrong with animal cruelty, they're doing it just to please me.

I don't just want to be with someone who will abide my strongest held beliefs. I want to be with someone who understands them. And I am.

I hate when people say it's "closing the door" to have preferences. I don't want to date every single person! I don't want to give every single person "a chance" no matter what their personality is like. You'll waste your life away living like that. As a woman who has been constantly told to "give guys a chance" instead of picking my own partner for myself, closing the door is the only way to survive in that crazy dating world.

[Volenta]

Also, it's not just about food choices. I don't want to live in a house with someone who would be cool buying leather sofas, buying animal tested products, gets wool/leather/etc. clothes or accessories for me or themselves - I don't want to live surrounded by animal cruelty.

I said 'food choices' for simplicity's sake and because it's probably the most present one you will be dealing with. I understand that veganism is much broader than that.

I hate when people say it's "closing the door" to have preferences. I don't want to date every single person! I don't want to give every single person "a chance" no matter what their personality is like. You'll waste your life away living like that. As a woman who has been constantly told to "give guys a chance" instead of picking my own partner for myself, closing the door is the only way to survive in that crazy dating world.

It seems you're not having any trouble with finding men to date with, and then it isn't really an impediment. It's not that I think it's a preference that you shouldn't have, everyone has preferences that can be interpreted as discriminatory. But when I'm looking at it from my perspective; I don't even know any vegans. Vegans are an enormously small percentage of the population. Of course there are other ways of finding people (internet for example), but it's not small restriction you're setting for yourself (and again, I can totally understand why you would set it).

[preet]

I'm not sure if I will have kids

I'm not going to have children.

If I ever have kids I would adopt

I'm also not so sure about having kids

Excuse my curiosity, but is your decision purely personal, or somewhat influenced by the philosophical arguments for Antinatalism? Arguments such as "consent not being possible" or "possibility of avoidable suffering" .
My understanding would be that most of the people who choose not to procreate do so due to:-
1. Too big a responsibility.
2. Loss of ability to pursue other life goals.
3. Being unsure about the possible outcome.
4. Adopting instead(which I think is a commendable deed morally, not so evolutionarily).

The negative correlation between IQ and fertility seems to be pretty well established, at least for the developed world. In todays highly industrialized society, natural selection doesn't favor intelligence, rather it favors fertility. The conditions in our evolutionary past which favored the selection of intelligent individuals no longer exist today. Do you feel this might lead to a gradual dumbing down of the world(similar to the world portrayed in the movie "Idiocracy")? It even might be possible that this degeneration is already underway for sometime, and its detection has been impaired due to the Flynn effect(increase in IQ due to environmental factors). I personally wouldn't be confident in making such assertions due to the fact that the view of IQ being a measure of intelligence is disputed, and also IQ scores are greatly influenced by education levels.

People voluntarily abstaining from reproduction seems to indicate that human beings have developed to the extent to be able to break free from the shackles placed upon us by our genes. The purpose of living no longer remains to increase the instances of particular molecular configurations(by saying so I do not imply that people are just "a bunch of molecules" just that, that's the basic principle all life is based off). Unfortunately such life cannot persist.

[brimstoneSalad]

For those keeping track, this is also Ironic:

Due to an overwhelming sense of compassion and social responsibility, Intelligent and ethical people choose to adopt instead of having children. However, due to the strong genetic components of intelligence and other positive human qualities, the most intelligent and compassionate people failing to reproduce causes those genes to be lost, resulting in a society that gradually degrades into a state of unanimous stupidity and ignorant cruelty which persists for the rest of time thanks to the lack of selective pressures against it.

Yay, Irony!


That said, I don't know how strong the genetic components are to these important human qualities, but I agree with preet in being skeptical of the whole Antinatalism thing. It may not be the boon to society it's advertised as.