Philosophical Vegan Forum

Dear keys,

Where the fuck are you?

Boes

Dear customer who held me up until 15 minutes after the nursery closed,

I normally dislike having customers walk in at near-closing time, and then keep me working at the cashier until long after closing. That's time which I need to finish clean-up routines, so that I can leave at a decent time.

With that said, I'd like you to know it didn't bother me so much this time. You certainly purchased a lot of plants, so it's understandable that it took me quite some time to scan them all. Most of all, though, I must say that you're quite a smoking-hot lady, and it seriously made my day to help out such an attractive customer! With such a smashing-fine body, and a lovely personality to match, how could I be upset?

I hope you don't have men hitting on you too much, as I realize that this might be an unfortunate downside to being such a severely sexy individual. That's part of why I finally decided not to say something corny like, "by the way, you have really pretty eyes" (although of course you do). Also, that might have been "coming on too strong" on my part, considering that I had just asked you for your number (which of course you were happy to give; me being such a smooth-talking gentleman).

By the way, I like succulents too!

Dear person hauling a container of flammable liquid on the interstate,

I don't know exactly what you were hauling, but as it had flammable placards on it, that told me enough. I think it might have been wise for you to ensure whatever it was was properly sealed, and how the hell you didn't see it splashing out of the back whenever you hit a bump puzzles me. Maybe I should have tried to warn you more, but once whatever splashed on my vehicle, I was kinda concerned about my own ass, as I am immune to many things, but fire is not one of them. Hope you understood my gesturing as I fled past you.

Good Luck!
PsYcHo

Dear tarantula I found at the rest area,

I want to thank you for not biting me when I picked you up from the road. I have handled tarantulas before, but never one that I encountered in the wild, and you were the perfect gentleman. (gentlespider?) I hope that you decided to go in the direction I placed you in near the bushes, as you were headed directly for the highway, and I assure you there are no crickets (living) on the interstate.

Best of Luck,
PsYcHo

Dear new members,

Sometimes a forum setting may seem a bit intimidating, but that is usually because some forums have a "members only" feel. But it really sucks when a forum is boring, because no one talks/ starts a thread. So if you are a new member, but are afraid of starting a conversation, there are different places you can just "pitch" an idea. First, the Tavern, by Miniboes, is a cool place you can throw out ideas . As long as you keep the tone polite, anything goes. Or if you are feeling more bold, start a new thread! As long as you are respectful any ideas are welcome. Forums are meant for discussion, so discuss!

PsYcHo (They let a guy called PsYcHo post, so you're probably cool..)

Dear Neil,

Remember when we would both drink waaay too much booze, and it was common practice for me to wake you up at odd hours to talk about mundane shit? I miss that. Thanks for helping me in the darkest of times; I'm sorry our current minor difference on political issues coupled with your most recent wife keeps us from communicating more freely. Remember when I had to literallly talk you down down from stabbing that dealer with a sword, just to protect me? And remember the many times you were suicidal and I talked you down from them? You always put yourself down, and I did my best to show you that you were an incredible person; I still think you are..... I miss you. A lot. Glad the family thing is working out, the girls are doing well, and tell C she just needs to be patient; her disability may seem like a hindrance now , but her many, many good qualities overshadow her involuntary eccentricities. I don't need to give B any advice, as she is strong willed and intelligent along with physically active, so she will likely run the world at some point. If I am among those she chooses to eradicate upon her ascension to power, hopefully our common bond will persuade her to make my death quick and painless.

Love you man,
PsYchO

PsYcHo wrote:Dear Neil,

Remember when we would both drink waaay too much booze, and it was common practice for me to wake you up at odd hours to talk about mundane shit? I miss that. Thanks for helping me in the darkest of times; I'm sorry our current minor difference on political issues coupled with your most recent wife keeps us from communicating more freely. Remember when I had to literallly talk you down down from stabbing that dealer with a sword, just to protect me? And remember the many times you were suicidal and I talked you down from them? You always put yourself down, and I did my best to show you that you were an incredible person; I still think you are..... I miss you. A lot. Glad the family thing is working out, the girls are doing well, and tell C she just needs to be patient; her disability may seem like a hindrance now , but her many, many good qualities overshadow her involuntary eccentricities. I don't need to give B any advice, as she is strong willed and intelligent along with physically active, so she will likely run the world at some point. If I am among those she chooses to eradicate upon her ascension to power, hopefully our common bond will persuade her to make my death quick and painless.

Love you man,
PsYchO

Awwwwwwwww

You need to talk to Neil

Dear ANYONE READING THIS FORUM,

This thread was started as a "safe space" despite my not agreeing with the current definition of such, I think it is a good thing to have such a place, within reason.

This is not a thread where you come to engage others.

This is a thread where you can communicate a message anonymously. So even if you have good intentions, replying to anyone here negates the purpose of the thread.

If you want to start a discussion about anything, start a thread or reply to a current one.

But if you just need to vent and are not seeking encouragement or advice, this is the place for it.

Complaints about work or parents,positive messages you want to say but didn't for reasons, negative messages you wish you could say but can't for reasons, or just a message you want to convey, without expecting a response, this is the place.

Everything from messages to friends, to inquiries about where the hell your keys are is appropriate.

This is a place to vent or brag without asking for advice or responses. If someone makes a post that you must reply to, private message them.

What happens in Open Letters stays in open letters.

Oh whoops, I replied to you before, didn't I?^^^

Am I breaking that rule again now too :O

EquALLity wrote:Oh whoops, I replied to you before, didn't I?^^^

Am I breaking that rule again now too :O

Stop it, you rebel.