Forum Game: Break-a-Wish

[EquALLity]

Uhh... I wish I an apple.

Wish granted!
But you get eaten by a vegan (and it hurts very much considering plants have feelings and all... poor apple)!
Or, less silly...
You somehow have all of your memories and thinking abilities but can't express any signs of consciousness because you cannot move. So you basically have the equivalent of total locked-in syndrome.

I wish I could communicate with animals telepathically.

[brimstoneSalad]

I wish I could communicate with animals telepathically.

Wish granted, but they can also communicate with you, it's done through shared perception, you can't turn it off, and there's no range limit, so all of the billions of voiceless animals suffering on Earth share their pain with you in a cry for help simultaneously.

How about this: For people to be nicer.

[miniboes]

Granted, now everybody tries to stuff food in your face 24/7

I wish I could read 500 words a second and comprehend all of it.

[Red]

I wish I could read 500 words a second and comprehend all of it.

Wish granted, and now at the end of your life, you will be ultimately tested on everything you have read, but you are allowed to read each thing once, and you forget everything you have read, and I will be your proctor . If you lose, you will be sentenced to life in prison, while being immortal. Everyone there despises you, and they stab you every time they see you. If you pass, you will be sentenced to the place you've wanted to go your entire life, you get everything you want, and be able to teleport anywhere you want. It's kinda like heaven, only like 500 times better.

I wish I didn't break one of the strings on my guitar.

[brimstoneSalad]

I wish I didn't break one of the strings on my guitar.

Wish granted, the neck of the guitar broke instead to relieve the tension and protect the string.

The ability to travel back in time.

[miniboes]

The ability to travel back in time.

Granted, somehow you manage to undo your birth.

I wish my torrent would download faster.

[EquALLity]

I wish my torrent would download faster.

A torrent? I don't even know what that is, and it has probably downloaded by now. Can someone else take on this one?
.
.
.
Wish granted, but the torrent begins downloading so fast that your computer crashes, and you need to restart the download.

I wish that my headphones would stop poking my ears so sharply.

[Red]

Wish granted, but now tge next time someone uses them, they will get earwax all over the headphones, which cannot be cleaned off under any circumstances.

I wish people would stop using #YOLO to justify their irresponsible behavior.

[EquALLity]

Hey, I'm glad somebody finally continued this. Now I don't have to respond to my own wish.

Wish granted, but now tge next time someone uses them, they will get earwax all over the headphones, which cannot be cleaned off under any circumstances.

Goddammit!

I wish people would stop using #YOLO to justify their irresponsible behavior.

Wish granted, but people keep doing stupid shit, and now they just lack a justification.
OR
Wish granted, but now, people just use #YODO instead, and commit suicide in grandiose ways to ensure that their deaths are awesome.

UPDATE:
Oh, my wish. Right.

I wish that this wish cannot be ruined!

Does that make sense? I feel like I'd be creating a paradox.

[Red]

Wish granted, but now all of everyone's wish downside is nullified, except for yours. (For like a month)

I wish my Sundayschool teacher wasnt so fucking stupid.