Forum Game: Break-a-Wish

[Red]

I wish I had the ability to manipulate time.

Wish granted, but manipulating time causes everyone that is good on this planet die a more slow and painful death, while the evil ones become stronger and immortal. For the ones that are in the middle they just burn in hell due to your selfishness.

Bastard.

Uhhhhhhh I wish I could come up with a wish.

[Cirion Spellbinder]

Uhhhhhhh I wish I could come up with a wish.

Wish granted, but since you already used your wish, you no longer can use this most incredible of wishes. Throughout your life you wish that you had just thought of this wish and done something great for the world. You die a depressed man who regrets only that he didn't change the world for the better with the wish he wished to know of...

I wish that I was the ruler of a universal constitutional monarchy that governed a socialist empire!

[Insert name here]

Wish granted, but your universal socialist government is destroyed by aliens.

I wish that scientists could find a way to prolong human life by 100 years.

[Red]

Wish granted, but they are vegetables who produce nothing to society when they reach age 110.

I wish I knew how the planet earth formed, and how it has almost all required items for life.

[Cirion Spellbinder]

Wish granted, but it turns out the truth was that the (literal interpretation of the) God of the bible was the one who did it! You begin to denounce the satanic, Islamic, liberal atheists you once considered your friends or at least acquaintances and begin following the Old and New Testament doctrine completely literally.

I wish for twelve pounds of pounds!

[brimstoneSalad]

I wish I knew how the planet earth formed, and how it has almost all required items for life.

“This is rather as if you imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, 'This is an interesting world I find myself in — an interesting hole I find myself in — fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!' This is such a powerful idea that as the sun rises in the sky and the air heats up and as, gradually, the puddle gets smaller and smaller, frantically hanging on to the notion that everything's going to be alright, because this world was meant to have him in it, was built to have him in it; so the moment he disappears catches him rather by surprise. I think this may be something we need to be on the watch out for.” -Dougls Adams

It doesn't have all possible required items for life; life just used what was available. Like if a master chef who will make an exquisite dish from the odds and ends in an understocked kitchen. For all we can tell, the Earth "could have (not actually, due to production of heavier elements in stars and the distribution of accretion disks)" had rather drastically different elements which still would have been able to be used to form life.

(one of few wishes I can actually grant)

[brimstoneSalad]

I wish for twelve pounds of pounds!

You now have 572 whole pound coins, and one partial coin, since it doesn't divide evenly. You have now been arrested for damaging money, due to the partial coin.

I need the ability to teleport. There are so many easy ways to break that one, it had better be disturbing.

[Insert name here]

You now have 572 whole pound coins, and one partial coin, since it doesn't divide evenly. You have now been arrested for damaging money, due to the partial coin.

I need the ability to teleport. There are so many easy ways to break that one, it had better be disturbing.

Wish granted, But every time you teleport, a random piece of your body is left behind, and that body part will grow into an identical clone with a homicidal fixation on you.

I wish that Vegemite would actually taste good.

[miniboes]

I wish that Vegemite would actually taste good.

Granted by adding sugar and fat.

I wish Peter Dinklage, Neal Barnard, Michael Greger and Paul McCartney and Peter Dinklage all star on an episode of Sam Harris' Waking Up podcast to talk about animal ethics, the healthfulness of animal products and how to be awesome.

[Cirion Spellbinder]

Wish granted. However, two minutes into the podcast, they spontaneously decide to use pseudoscience and incoherent dogma to attempt to debunk veganism and then conclude that the key to awesomeness is to cause as much suffering in the world as possible in the shortest amount of time.

I wish that my stomache was a beehive filled with bees that recognized me as their leader and brought nectar to the hive which they processed into honey and we both consumed as a form of sustenance without any of the health problems that may arise from only consuming honey.